Train Up a Child.

One of my favorite moments each day is making my morning coffee.

I cherish that time so much.

The science, the smells, the nuances of the craft, and, of course, the taste!

I’ve often wondered if my son Moses will like it as much as I do. I dream about one day talking all things coffee with him. Who knows? Maybe we could even start a little coffee gig together when he’s older.

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I really want him to love coffee, but I’ve never tried to force my love for it onto him.

I don’t put coffee-scented wallflowers in the electrical outlets by his bed. I don’t read him children’s books about the adventures of Coffeeboy and Espressogirl. And I’ve never bought him a toy coffee set just to try to show him how much fun it can be.

(Though, I would do any and ALL of those things if he ever asks me to, because that sounds like heaven! ) However, even though I’ve never tried to persuade him to like it, he always gets upset if I don’t let him have a front-row seat to my morning coffee routine.

He just has to see what I’m doing and join in the process by touching everything: the bag of beans, the grinder, the Chemex, the scale. He’s even come really close to sticking his finger in the 205 degree water I’m pouring.

He has a genuine, natural intrigue for coffee... but I don’t think it’s about the coffee at all.

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Moses watches everything I do. He’s not always interested in it, but he sees me. And the things I do most consistently, he is most interested in.

The things I do most consistently, he is most interested in.

We have to watch ourselves, parents. It’s very easy to tell our kids what is important: “We have to pray.” “You need to read your Bible.” “Go clean your room.” “Say please and thank you.” “Quit getting so upset.” “Don’t spend all day looking at that screen.” “Go spend time with your friends.”

...but, as W.E.B. Du Bois correctly noticed, “children learn more from what you are than what you teach.”

Don’t just teach your kids what is important; show them. Don’t show them by making an event of it; exemplify it in your daily habits.

The kicker is, the only way we will be able to unconsciously exemplify a behavior is if we actually believe and love that behavior ourselves.

The hard truth: the habits you see your kids doing are probably the very things they think you do habitually.

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One of King Solomon’s proverbs reads, “Train up a child in the way he should go,

Even when he grows older he will not abandon it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

Notice “train” is not the word “teach.” It’s not just about telling kids the way they should go, but demonstrating it and then working through life together with them. We do what we love and our kids do what we do, so out of our loves sprout our children’s actions.

What do you love? Where is your heart?

To find out, take an audit of your habits: What do you spend your time doing?

What do you catch yourself talking about consistently? What do you spend your money on?

As Jesus once revealed, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21)

We do what we love and our kids do what we do, so out of our loves sprout our children’s actions.

We have to watch ourselves, parents, because our kids sure are.